Be a safe human. Be the human that everyone wants to be near because they know that they can trust you and that on your watch everyone is safe, seen, and cared for. Being a safe human is more than steadfast zen stillness. It means that everyone in the room knows that you stand for love, peace, and acceptance. Being a safe human is active and invested. It’s embodying “The Golden Rule” with each and every interaction.
Do you know that every religion - every dang one - has one MAJOR thing in common. The Golden Rule is present from the beginning of time and is the basis for the success of the human experience. Do on to others as you would have them do onto you, and various forms of that same message, is the essence of love for each other and most importantly, loving ourselves. Loving oneself is of pinnacle importance to shifting and raising the human consciousness.
As a child, I measured my worth as a reflection of how others loved and cared for me. I had lots of awesome loving grown-up characters enter and exit the story of my youth. My childhood lens viewed the leaving of adults as proof that people you love don’t stay and that people will surely always leave you. The truth is that grown-ups came into my life and then left because of their own stuff and that is had absolutely nothing to do with me. Further, people leave because people leave and that is unattached to any emotions I projected on the situation. In fact, no relationship is forever. Circumstance is always in motion and we must treasure this moment with out fear of what will happen in the next. Well, at least that is everything I learned in therapy.
I felt ridiculous and relieved to hear my loving therapist share these words. “Autumn,” she said. “You are working from the perspective of a hurt child.” And alas, I was. I was, as a grown woman, assuming love and friendships were temporary. In fact, they actually are because life is temporary. But the very, very, very important distinction is that I was choosing to function from a place of fear and distance to avoid my childhood operating system of getting hurt. I was holding back love and I was missing out on being present, open, alive, and involved because I was sure if I experienced love I would painfully lose it.
Is it better to have love and lost than never to have loved before? This old adage is layered and complicated. I believe we are on this Earth to love and be loved. So yes, it is crucial that we love and feeeeeeel love. Blocking love is blocking the essence of being. The opening to love starts with self. You must feel immense love for yourself to be able to accept the love of another.
Here are three solid steps to improve self-love.
Watch your thoughts. You are a soul. You have a mind. Your mind is the antenna that picks up vibrations of the universe. You must wrangle your thoughts to be positive and those happy, loving, hopeful thoughts will create happy, loving, and hopeful days in your life. When you have unhelpful thoughts, feel free to acknowledge their visit and ask them politely to leave and replace them with a positive thought about yourself. Thoughts like, “I am doing such a good job watching my thoughts, I can grow and shift, I can love and be loved, I have lots of good to share.”
2.Laugh more. Laugh at yourself often and with wild abandon. The health benefits of laugher are endless! Lighten the mood and lighten your energy by taking yourself and EVERYTHING else way less seriously. Give yourself permission to be silly, goofy, forgetful, messy, rigid, moody, anxious. Step back from your situation and laugh! We create fake stress and fake judgement all over the dang place. Let it go and laugh it out. I promise you, whatever you are most hard on yourself for could easily be turned into a sitcom, reality show, or comic strip. It’s just life and it’s a shitshow for EVERYONE so learn to take it less seriously.{Also, fake laugher with pure intention is equally as beneficial - so fake it till you make it.}
3. Do Good Daily. This may seem a little backwards but doing good for others builds self-confidence, self-value, and purpose. Love yourself by figuring out what gifts if you have to offer. Baking or gardening for someone else, walking someone’s else pets, hugging, sending surprise happy cards, are all examples of a way you can feel good. Doing good for others also gets you out of your head, gives you positive perspective, and raise the vibration of us all.
Being a safe human means that you treat everyone the way you want to be treated with predictable love and compassion. Being a safe human means that you love yourself enough to know that you deserve love and that you willingly give that to others with no expectations. To truly love others and feel their love in return you must love yourself. Being a safe humans means that you are secure in the knowledge that you are worthy to give and receive love.
Life, it’s not easy. The Golden Rule is built on the beautiful glory of love as reciprocity and empathy in our human connection. You are worthy of love and your gift to give love is limitless. You are a safe human. Amen.