Being an Autumn is an interesting peopley lifestyle. My life seems to operate in two manic gears, lonely computer workey-work (yawn) or ALL-IN-AUTUMNISM-ness. You can tell which one fills my heart more. The thing about the ALL-IN-AUTUMNISM-ness is that it is filling and draining at the same time. Let me explain…when I click, emcee, model, hug..I am fully presently there. ALL there. That means I am being filled blissfully complete in the experience of that moment. I am an extrovert, obbbbbbvisously. Perhaps I am a sloppy extrovert; that’s when you are such an extrovert that you slop your extro-ness to whom ever seems to be in your sprayable vicinity regardless if your sociability spray is welcome or not. Being an overt-extrovert awards me the benefits on tapping in on the energy of the room and feeding off it like some vibration raising regurgitating picasimus. Thusly, whirling around in the room’s ambiance vitamin-tizes me because I am uber present to the vibeness, the richness there and playing in it. AND it drains me because when in those situations I am there so fully that time stops – sorta- while I splash around in the self-expressed moment. This poses a snitch of an issue because when the moment of ALL-IN-AUTUMNISM-ness is over, I have to catch back up to to the present moment. It feels like my spirit raced ahead and there is an exhausted pause for my body to catch up. I call that “Joyhaustion” and it’s a beautiful doozy. I highly promote the rush.
You might not understand what I mean by “joyhaustion.” I urge you to try it! It’s a magnificent thrill. Please allow me to recommend a joyhaustion guru (insert drum roll sound), EVERY THREE YEAR OLD HUMAN! Three years olds are the best. Really! Have you ever watched a 3 year old, really, really watched one? It’s the most magnificent display of authentic bright beautiful humanness EVER. Let’s discuss ~
Have you ever seen a 3 year old make friends? It’s AMAZING. Here is what it looks like….three year old walks up to stranger kid…”Hey do you want to play with me?” Stranger kid says no. No matter; three year old is unscathed. Three year old walks up to a another random kid, “Hey, do you want to play with me?” Random kid just walks away; no worries. Three year old meanders up to another kid, “Hey do you wanna play?”…..two kids sit down and play together. Gawd, I love a three year old because they don’t read into, over analyze, make meaning, project self-doubt….they just play – in the moment -with others or they continue on with their life. Their self-worth is not dependent on the validation of others. They are not trying to prove anything…they just are.
Have you ever seen a 3 year old eat? They use a fork – sorta. They use a napkin – sorta. They use their hands whenever the freak they want – awesome. And they make sounds like “nom, nom, nom” with wild abandon. They also occasionally smear it across their face and don’t give two-sh*ts if the person across the table tells them they have food on their face or something in their teeth. In fact, if you tell a 3 year old they have something in their teeth, they probably will smile even bigger and grin as wide a possible in your general direction with gleeful pride.
Have a you ever seen a three year old sleep? They are opened mouthed, sweaty, drooling, little starfish pose back sleepers, who steal all the covers while somehow managing to simultaneously kick all the blankets off from the strategic location of the middle of your bed. Somehow they manage to be all in even when passed out! Then they wake up like drunk little zombies that just entered a new dimension and they stammer around until they transition back into joyhausting bossy laps around the living room.
Three year old’s are gurus because at three years old EVERYTHING is real and new and fun and their joyhausting is allll in illuminated humanness. They live completely in every raw experience feeling out the glowing opportunities in the room. Joyhaustion is about finding the vivid possibility of the moment and existing out on the skinny branches of bright new experiences. The very definition of the word “Guru” literally translates to mean “from darkness to light.” There is no darkness in the bold all-in-ness of a three-year old. Their intentions are innocent and their motives are founded in pure brilliant curiosity.
I urge you to find your inner three year old, to find your all-in-ness and a moment out on skinny branches of life trying something new. I urge you to find the vivid possibility in every moment and lean into joyhaustion ~ it’s a beautiful doozy. I urge you to be your own guru. Find your light. Amen.