It’s Pride month and for many that is a wonderful time of celebration AND it is also a time of vulnerability. Vulnerability because being bold and seen in the world is to take a chance and part of that chance includes those you love not supporting the way you choose to be seen.
Family is the biggest blessing and the biggest challenge. In my last two blog posts I highlighted my journey with relationship attachment challenges. I measured my worth by the the perceived love of others. It is my hope that sharing my life dance with you inspires you to be whole and full of self-love. I believe that we can all be a safe human that inspires love and that radiates safety for others.
Here is what I know. I love myself. I love myself because I and have done really fucking hard things. I know the hard things are not over and I know that I have the strength to walk with future challenges. My heart has been broken a million times by family, friends and strangers. And yet, I know that I am worthy of love. I know I am worthy of love because I am really, really, really good at loving. I believe that this strength to love others starts with self-love and then transmits out to others - that is the root of all healing.
I learned how to love by watching. I made a plan that I would be the grown up I wish I had when I was a child. That has been my compass. I want my words, my actions, and my presence to be one of solace. My intention is that in every time and every place, my energy is one of comfort and safety. In distress or sadness, in joy and celebration that my being disseminates unconditional and nonjudgemental love. I know it is working because of the children. Children are like canaries in the coal mine. They know and sense the things before the grown ups do.
Here is how I treat children, even newborns. Perhaps we could all treat each other this way.
I look them in the eye, I smile, I introduce myself, I tell them they are safe with me that I will take good care of them. And I mean it. I respect their space, I honor them as individuals, I ask them before I touch or move them. I am in-tune with their reactions and how they are feeling and I honor their boundaries and their special needs. I use my words to tell them what the plan is and what I am thinking. I ask them questions about what they think.
It is not my intention to be condescending, if you have ever seen certain adults interact it is apparent to me that we have an opportunity to find some basic human connection skills. It’s like we are so hung up on our own insecurities that our personal bandwidth to love and care for others has been nullified. I recently heard an author talk about the LARGE self-up section in the bookstore but the non-existent section for help-others. Tragic really.
During Pride month and every month I urge you to be a safe human. I urge you to be the grown-up, friend, family member you need. Find your strength, find your love and then send it out into the world. There are so many who need it. Be the human that everyone wants to be near because they know that they can trust you and that on your watch everyone is safe, seen, and cared for. You stand for love, peace, and acceptance so wave your heart flag high so everyone can see it.