by Autumn Lee on April 16, 2016 in Uncategorized
We should take naked photos.
I give a real, profound, loving and sacred fuck about you….just thought you should know.
There is a conceptual movement called “full frontal feminism.” It has sexual innuendoes, of course it does. It makes me giggle because it pairs nicely with the awesome acronym for the age of IDGAF. Which is apparently around the age of 40 when you “Don’t give a fuck”. I find this whole concept a fascinating juxtaposition because at nearly 40 IACTUALLY care more about EVERYTHING than I have ever cared before. I give a profound fuck about lots and lots of stuff. Because at nearly 40 I actually have the space to make room for caring for everything. I am finally out of my head and in my body enough that there is space to let go of the noise, fear and anxiety of being a blossoming female superhero and moving more into the steady rhythm of recognizing that I am not actually hero-esk and settling into the knowing that I am totally ok with the beautiful fault filled version of me that can love greatly, deeply and passionately for myself and others.
And full frontal feminism….yeah, let’s talk about that. A dear friend of mine recently touched the fence of online dating…her would be “companion” began his opening line with some silly banter regarding his perception of women in their 40’s and “not being able to keep things out of their vaginas.” Hmmmm, I thought. I believe he was referencing the joy of the sexual peak? I will refrain from divulging the secrets of my vagina in this particular blog post, but I will confess to the immeasurable love I have for my body at this point in my journey. There is a quote that hums this truth….it says “I workout because I love my body, not because I hate it.” Years, I mean serious years friends, I spent battling my body. I wanted to be stronger, have bigger boobs, be more athletic, less gangly, more, more, more…I don’t even know more of what….just I wanted to be more, more, more, more.
There is a story of a sculptor and a piece of marble. She is going to create the most perfect of art pieces with this exquisite stone. Slowly, and with great, care she cuts away from the marble. She removes that which she does not need. She lets go, lets fall away that which does not serve her. She shapes and chisels the marble to create authentic beauty in and from the piece. And when she is done, she has not added anything to the piece. Instead, she has removed that which hindered its glorious perfection. This, my friend, is you. Innately, at your core, you are perfection. And at the beautiful age, of almost 40, I have learned that IDGAF really means that I am enough. I do not need to be more, more, more, more. I am that marble and I can remove doubt, anxiety, fear and ALL that does not serve me in my life. With gentle and careful stokes, I can love myself and find the release and falling away of the rocky stuff that binds me. I give a fuck about EVERYTHING because I can. Because I have space for that now. I love my body because I know it is enough. You are that sculptor. I am that sculptor. We do not need to be more. Maybe this is full frontal feminism. The removal of that need for more and totally full-frontal-authentic-vulnerability and the option to stick whatever the hell we want in our vaginas.
Perhaps you did not know that I take lots of nude and semi-nude photos of woman of all ages and sizes. They are sorta like boudoir pictures, I guess. We call them that. But they are not that. They are journey pictures. Cause it’s big to be vulnerable and take off your clothes and let me point a camera at you. We carry lots of trauma in and on our bodies. Puberty, sex, pregnancy, birth, harm by others and harm of ourselves leave mental and physical dings in our essence. Perhaps the sculptor in us can chisel them away, leaving the beauty and growth from those happenings, but shedding the icky-ness. I am certainly not suggesting you are not whole with out pictures of your body. What I am offering, is that if that calls to you as part of your journey, I am here for you…to love on you and care for you and help you find the photographic light in you by taking BEAUTIFUL and sexy pictures of this amazing version of you!!
I give a real, profound, loving and sacred fuck about you… just thought you should know.